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All of the principles discussed in this chapter applied to how my wife and I met, became friends, and chose to marry. Propenquity is the geographic closeness experienced by potential dates and mates.
It’s the proximity you might experience by: living in the same dorms or apartment buildings; going to the same university or college; working in the same place of employment; or belonging to the same religious group.
So, here is the million dollar question: "what if I don’t have these universally desirable traits? Here’s why, people from similar: economic class, ethnicity, religion, political persuasion, and lifestyles tend to hang out with others like themselves.
Am I excluded from the date and mate selection market? There is a principle that I have found to be the most powerful predictor of how we make our dating and mating selection choices--homogamy. Our mates resemble our parents more because we resemble our parents and we tend to look for others like ourselves.
For men, if they have manly facial features (strong chin and jaw and somewhat prominent brow); slight upper body musculature, and a slim waist then they’d have more universally desirable traits. And we tend to find patterns that indicate that homogamy in a relationship can be indirectly supportive of a long-term relationship quality because it facilitates less disagreements and disconnections of routines in the daily life of a couple.
For women: larger eyes, softer facial features and chin; fuller lips, and an hour-glass figure facilitate more universally desirable traits. I believe that we filter homogamously and even to the point that we do tend to marry someone like our parents.
Besides dating and mate selection is not about volume it’s about quality and intimacy in the relationship.
I often ask my students how they met and when they tell their stories I help them to identify the geography that was involved in the process.
Physical appearance is subjective and is defined differently for each individual.
In other words, how many single females or males are there in the same classroom?
In the United States there are millions of people between the ages of 18-24 (18-24 is considered prime dating and mate selection ages).
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Sixty years ago if you were of marrying age, you’d most likely select someone based on how your parents felt about it; how healthy the person appeared to be; how good/moral their character appeared to be; and how stable their economic resources appeared to be. These are the types of questions and answers we consider when we study dating and mate selection.