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*****You might think online dating would create some much-needed “fairness” between the sexes.

In the realm of hetero courtship, tradition still reigns supreme.

You will march home to an empty inbox and the desire to spend another hour browsing and writing will start to fade.

Many times in my writing I ask men to try to understand how women feel out in the world, to take a walk in their shoes, to try on a different perspective to understand their own privilege.

I believe exercising those empathy muscles is what helps us be better, kinder human beings, but it’s not fair of me to ask without trying to reciprocate.

You don’t order my wine and we split the check because we are peers. I have a job, you have a job, we’re all on a budget, and I did eat most of the sweet potato fries!

Down the line, we can trade off and treat each other and enjoy the security in knowing there will be a “next time,” but for now, we both walked blindly into the same bar, so let’s walk out having equally invested in the last hour.

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Finally, one of the cool girls writes back, and you will banter a bit, swapping favorite restaurants or concert venues.

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  1. You will ask her to meet up “in real life.” At the bar, you will chat nervously for an hour (she is not as pretty or as funny as you had hoped she’d be), and then you will be saddled with the check even though she ate most of the sweet potato fries.

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